Hooch

The "5-Humper"

Merry Fistmas!!

Rose Lips

This one goes out to Cousin A., who, as I only recently discovered, has a natural talent for pig kissing. The surprising thing about this is that she has kept it secret from us all these decades. Now that’s a feat in itself. After all, learning to kiss pigs correctly naturally requires that you have some pigs around. And, as far as I know, Cousin A. does not keep any pigs anywhere except for in her deep freezer, all nicely cut up and wrapped in brown butcher paper. But Cousin A. posed right in front of the camera to kiss a recently cooked pig. I suppose she must have known Mr. Pig prior to his big day on the camphouse table and wanted to give him one last big smack before he got devoured. I dunno, maybe she secretly keeps a pig in the trunk of her car. That would at least explain all those strange sounds her car has been making over the last several years. Whatever, we all want Cousin A. to know that we are now all glad to know about her pig-kissing talents, and we hope she will share it with us more often in the years to come!

High-Tailing It

Today, I celebrate nothingness. Germany is very good at encouraging such a thing. On Sundays here, no businesses are open, except for restaurants, gas stations and flower shops (!!). Of course, public transportation still runs, so I can get around the city if I want. But there’s nothing open for shopping. So I just enjoy what’s there, and what’s there is nothingness. There is no busily rushing about, no doctor or dentist appointments, no shopping for food or household items. No government or bank offices are open. There’s a sense of sleepiness, as if the entire city took a strong dose of Excedrin PM.

So I watch TV, and mostly I watch shows about animals. The TV stations here all have zoo shows on the weekend. Lots of stories about monkeys, chimpanzees, gorillas, goats, rhinos, gazelles, and you name it. Shows about lemurs are among my favorites. Lemurs are fascinating creatures: lively, perky, quick, nimble, long-tailed, social, curious, intelligent, almost like humans. At times, I regret that I have to rely on a zoo in order to see them, yet that may be a very necessary evil since their natural habitats are disappearing fast. So, I am glad that at least the zoo can offer them for seeing. Maybe one day, we will find a way to maintain their natural habitats enough so that they can thrive in the wild. Who knows, I might go live with them.

The Definition of Playful

Last night, I dreamed that my little dog VCR was with me again. I was walking down the road when suddenly she appeared next to me, trotting proudly. She always loved being part of the pack when she was alive, and she was a good member. She never had a bad mood in her life and was always ready to overpower anyone with a large dollop of love. Even up to the last few months of her life, she was a playful soul. She enjoyed assuming a pouncing position, which usually meant she was going to pounce on my other dog, Agnes. Agnes always took it in stride. I think she always considered VCR to be her child, who, of course, was to be tolerated even when up to a lot of foolishness. At some point in my dream, I got into bed and she followed me. She curled up in the crook of my arm and immediately fell to sleep as I stroked her.

At that point, I awoke. For a long moment, I was lost in the cloud that forms in my head when I am half awake and half asleep. At first, I was exceedingly happy that VCR was with me again. But then the cloud began to evaporate and I realized that what I thought was VCR was nothing but a pillow in the crook of my arm.

Of course, that left me a little sad. But then I thought back to the entire dream and decided to take those thoughts with me as I went through the day. What a source of happiness!

Fridays

It’s Friday!! I love Fridays. I always feel like I’m a slave that has be set free, if only for a couple of days. Fridays are wonderful from the time I wake up on Friday morning until I actually get off work. Even while I’m at work, I can already feel and smell the freedom that is awaiting me at the end of the day. When I look forward, all I see is a vast, blank field of nothing but freedom. No one telling me what to do or what I did wrong. No boy. Instead, I can do just whatever I want to, no matter whether that is eating a burger or watching scary movies on late-night TV. Fridays are the red carpet to Saturday, and Saturday is mine to shape however I want to, even though I usually choose just not to bother shaping it at all. Instead, I let it shape me. It’s all so wonderful. Friday, Saturday, Sunday. And I have Monday free to. I think it is what I live for. It is enough.

Polecat Cold

Today is a cold, cold day in Munich. Snow is falling again. It’s really quite beautiful. All the anxieties of work disappear when I’m outside in it. Of course, I have to bundle up well to endure it. Fortunately, I have an excellent thick coat that keeps me warm even when the temp is far below freezing.

But I made a small mistake a few days back that came back to haunt me: I left a heavily used handkerchief in my pocket. This is usually no worry, but this time, the handkerchief took on a rank, rotting smell, and everything about the coat smells like a skunk. I need to coat, but I think I will first have to let it hang outside my window and let the snow cleanse away the stink.

Deadset

Washed Up

Ohno-Fast and Oh-So-Sloooooowwwww

Now that the Olympics are over, I am going into a bit of withdrawal for winter sports. Those speed skaters scare the hell out of me, yet I can’t take my eyes off of them. It’s beyond my understanding how anyone can move that fast on a slippery surface without falling down and bringing down everyone else around you. But they do. And then to top it off, the most decorated American skater of all has the last name “Ohno”, which is about as amusing bit of irony you could hope for.

Another sport I always find myself watching intently is curling. It is all so bizarre, with middle-aged guys sliding a giant teapot-shaped stone toward some equally big stones. Plus, the guys wear some magical sort of footware (not skates!) that allows them to sail here and there like feathers. Compared to the speed skaters, this is about as totally the opposite you could hope for. But it captures my attention every time. Also, these guys seem to be intent on making a fashion statement. Did you see the pants the Norwegian team was wearing? And then those fancy hairdo-s they were sporting. Some big styling there!