Chopstick Law

Today I went to lunch at a a very cheap, all-you-can-eat Chinese restaurant – only six euros. The food is very mediocre, but if you know what to select, you can come away with a pretty satisfying meal. For example, the Chinese noodles, cucumber salad, pig knuckles and chop suey are quite good.

But that’s not the real reason I keep going back. The restaurant has a couple of very charming characteristics that had led it to have a very dedicated customer base. For example, it is always packed with Chinese. I figure the fellow who runs the place must entertain 200 to 300 customers a day. Crowds come in, eat, and then whisk out, all within half an hour.

So utter convenience is one big factor. Quick in, quick out.

But the truly compelling reason for going back is the owner. He runs everything himself from getting drinks for people to refilling the empty food containers to bussing the tables to settling the final bill. I do suppose that he has a cook in the back, but I’ve never seen him or her.

The fellow is sort of a prickly type. He does not hesitate to bark at customers who are getting out of line (literally) or who have complaints about the food. If anyone does complain (but I have only seen that once), he very cooly barks “You eat! You pay! You go!”. And they do.

If you have any questions, he will answer you, but it is usually with no more than one sharp syllable. For example, I asked him where I could find a napkin and he jutted a finger in the air toward the other end of the food line and uttered a very sharp “THERE!”. And indeed, the napkins were there. I somehow felt ashamed of myself, and by no means offended by his harsh tone.

He runs everything like that. But the part about it that wins me over is that the fellow is relentlessly fair. He treats you no differently whether you are Chinese or non-Chinese, rich or poor, ugly or pretty. He’s simply efficient and fair through and through. I always feel good about myself after I leave the establishment, as if I have been handled with endless tough love. It’s a fascinating and satisfying concept he’s got going there.

Egyptian Wonder

I’m always amazed at how much ancient civilizations achieved, often leaving us to pale in comparison. And I am even more amazed at their feats if you consider that they did not have one of our daily stimulants to get them going: coffee.

Mornings are the worst part of my day. When I first wake up, the Monster of Morning Dread is usually sitting right on top of me. He’s a heavy, gruesome fellow made of rusty metals that grind and clack as the gears of his innards churn and turn. He’s also part animal, almost bearlike, a sulky, nasty, mean-spirited bear who does his best to make me stay in bed with the covers over my head.

The only thing that can really conquer him is a large cup of coffee. Why that works so much better than orange juice, a cola, or tea is probably due to the large wallop of caffeine that it delivers. Somehow, coffee subdues that monster, driving him back into the walls of my apartment and out of sight until the next day.

So the fact that the ancient Egyptians got so much done without daily coffee is amazing. Perhaps they didn’t have a Morning Monster that came to roost on their shoulders as soon as the sun came up. Perhaps drinking all that Nile water scared him out of town and into exile in the desert. If only I could do the same!

Rediscovery

For decades, my life has been free of something that I thought I would never miss again: peanut butter. After childhood, I simply quit eating it. It was never a special treat for me, and it certainly wasn’t the healthiest thing in the world to eat.

But the past just roped me back in. While at the grocery store lately, I discovered that they had dedicated a small part of one shelf to real American peanut butter, both creamy and crunchy.

So I bought a jar and also invested in a jar of strawberry jam. I rushed home, mixed together several large dollops of the two of them. I made myself a sandwich, and was amazed at how satisfying it was. Just downright satisfying, as rewarding as a succulent piece of steak.

Since then, peanut butter has again become a regular part of my life. It’s such as easy food, just waiting for you anytime of the day or night. Of course, there’s the horrible downside of extra inches on my waistline, and this is a challenge I will have to face up to pretty soon. But, until then, I am going to spoil myself as much as I can.

Hummingbird-o-lantern

Hog-o-lantern

Ostrich-o-lantern

zombie carrots

Canine Coffee Thugs

One Hairy Grouper

Burning Content

I remember as a child not liking tomatoes. They left a flat, watery taste in my mouth, and their texture was somehow unsatisfying. I tried to learn to like them, but with not much luck. At some point, I just started avoiding them unless they were forced upon me.

But then in early adulthood, 20 years of age or so, all that changed. For some reason, tomatoes suddenly filled my mouth with a light and sparkling flavor. Since then I have always enjoyed them immensely.

Now something similar has happened with candles. Up to this point in life, I found candles bothersome, cloying and illogical. After all, why use a candle when the wonder of modern lighting is at your fingertips.

But now that has changed as well. Burning a candle after I come home from work gives me a great sense of contentment, erasing a lot of the abrasiveness encountered throughout the day. I even like scented ones, and scented ones of all colors. Almost ridiculously, I find myself shopping for them, looking for new scents, different sizes, different burn techniques. Right now, I have two different aromas burning, one peach and one called Fresh Breeze (now that leaves your imagination wide open, doesn’t it?).

Candlelight is certainly comforting, making bulb light feel somehow corrosive. Perhaps there’s some deep-seated behavior from our cavepeople days that makes this feel so rewarding. After all, an apartment or house is little more than a glorified cave, and a little candlelight never did any of them any harm.

1 space alien, 3 anorexic pigs

Lobostomy Lovers

HANDS-ON CROW

Daredevil Red Snappers

Catfish Karaoke