Thump Evangelism

One of my favorite parts of summer is here as usual: Watermelons! They are such an amazing fruit – heavier than a fat pig, sweeter than a honey bun, and crisp and crunchier than Rice Crispies. Their flesh is unique: beautifully colored and it gives you the sense of light explosiveness when you bite into it. To date, I have not seen any synthetically produced food that is anywhere like watermelon.

When I buy a melon, I always look for the large ones that have seeds. The seedless ones are certainly much better if you are going to be eating the melon in the company of prissy people, because seedless ones free you from the tricky matter of how to spit out the seeds. So I avoid prissy people.

Melons with seeds are usually so much tastier. Their flesh is sweeter, more delicate, and the taste is much richer.

Here in Germany, most people prefer the seedless type. I think it largely because they don't understand the difference. They just think that with-seed and seedless melons all taste the same, so why not just make life easier for yourself and buy the seedless type.

Fortunately, I do not have to endure such culinary poverty because many of the vegetable and fruit stores here are run by Turks and Greeks. And they know melons. In their home countries, they have the luxury of having farmers who still grow the with-seed melons, and they really understand the difference.

The country that supplies most of the seedless melons to Germany is Spain. I have tried the Spanish melons again and again, but have always been disappointed. They look fine on the outside, but they never resonate properly after being thumped firmly by a finger. Once cut, their color always seems too muted, too pale. And then there's the taste: crunchy but overly chewy, cardboard-like taste and flat. Plus, they do not deliver the light explosiveness when bitten into.

So the local green grocers now know me by name and always pick out the best melon they have for me. And they know how to pick one. Just give it a solid thump. If the sound is deep and rich, but not too deep, the melon is good. If the sound is high-pitched and thin, it's a no-buyer. The Germans in the store always look on quizzically, and I always hope that they will also pick a with-seed melon to take home with them. The more converts, the better.