Ha! And you thought it was just a bad B movie. Well, Hollywood didn't make this one. Someone out there is spraying nasty little (virtually) invisible critters on one of the entire world's major food habits. This could be serious. For decades, even centuries, now, that wonderful round red vegetable (fruit?) has been one of the few things tying all of humanity together. The Israelis eat 'em. The Palestinians eat 'em. The Iranians eat 'em. Nuke-happy American presidents eat 'em. Even Eskimos eat 'em. (Forgive me, I couldn't think of anyone who is a mortal foe of the Eskimos.) They all eat 'em, eat 'em, and eat 'em some more.
My theory: This is all merely a ploy by national politicians to take our collective minds off gas prices. After all, our elected ones know that there is absolutely nothing they can do about gas prices. Prices are up, and they are just going to keep going that way. But the Killer Tomato scare is not so chronic. After all 99.99 % of all tomatoes are actually OK. Plus, the fact that nobody is now eating tomatoes means that produce warehouses are piling up with tomatoes, overflowing with tomatoes, throwing rotting tomatoes away. And the market price for tomatoes is falling through the floor. So, in a couple of weeks, 100% healthy tomatoes will be back on the market, and they will be cheaper than ever. All that money you save when you buy tomatoes will quickly add up to enough to pay for your next gallon of gas. Send your Grats to your Congress(wo)man!
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