Even at the ripe old age of five, I realized that I had a very healthy dread of anything that ends in an "-ing" and involves being on two feet. The most obvious of those are standing, working, cooking, walking, running (no matter whether from or to), cleaning, sweeping, mopping, dusting, hiking, chasing (cows), shopping, repairing (things I broke), etc.
Fortunately, life is full of other -ing activities that do not require standing on two feet: sitting, sleeping, eating, reading, watching (TV), kissing a dog, dozing, napping, thinking, swimming, telephoning, talking, surfing (the web, of course), manipulating (others), telling others what to do, pretending (that I have no faults), dodging (criticism), deflecting (blame), fishing, playing possum, and many more.
Now I am not sure that this proves anything except that just maybe you can get along quite well in life without forcing your feet to obey the laws of gravity. After all, it only makes sense that standing on your own two feet was not meant to be a time-consuming act in life if you consider the fact that God gave almost all of us large and well-padded butts. In other words, he was thoughtful enough to give each of us our own private couch to carry around and to plop down on when we felt the need. Just think about it: When we get tired, we do not stand on our heads; we do not walk on our arms; and we do not paddle around in the dirt belly-down. We sit on our big rear-ends.
Yes, yes, indeed. We sit on our natural upholstery. For hours at a time. And it feels pretty darn good. It doesn't hurt. It doesn't itch. It doesn't get overheated. It doesn't get cold. It simply feels right.
So the next time you find yourself running around from one thing to the next like a purebred ninny, do your IQ a favor: Just sit down.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment