Collars Galore

Yesterday, I did one of the most unpleasant things imaginable to me: I went shopping for clothes.

The good news is that I now won't have to do it again for another year. That's my rule: Set aside one day a year to buy all the clothes I need for the next 12 months and then forget about it.

Most years, I can go to one department store here in town to get everything I need: underwear, belts, shoes, socks, coats, jackets, caps, and shirts. The department store is comparable to Target in quality and price. The clothes are pragmatic, down-to-earth and easily affordable. Elegance is not an priority.

This year, I was able to get everything I needed there except for shirts. I wanted some simple but durable long-sleeved shirts that were meant to be worn with jeans. But the store didn't have any. It had loads of short-sleeved shirts and a wide selection of dress shirts. So I bought everything else I needed and headed out the door in search of shirts somewhere else.

The second department store I went to was one step up from the first one in price and brandname. But it, too, didn't have what I wanted. So I set out again.

I walked around the mall, but could not find another affordable-looking store. By that time, my nerves were also becoming a bit frayed.

Finally, I ventured into the only place left: an upper-end department store that was known for fancy brandnames and elevated prices. I didn't have very high hopes of finding anything that matched my basic criteria: I will spend $25 for a shirt, but I will not spend $200 for one.

As I was entering the men's-wear department, an older lady of 65- to 70-years-old appeared out of nowhere and greeted me with a spunky "Hello!"

I mumbled a wavery "Hi" in response. I wasn't sure whether the lady worked there or if she was simply some soul out for a day at the mall.

I kept walking until I found the shirt section. At first, I didn't see anything that was right.

But then I spotted several stands of shirts that looked like they just might do. One the one hand, I felt a sudden sense of relief. But on the other hand, I didn't let my hopes get too high before I saw a few price tags.

So I found one in my size and looked at the price. My heart sank: $79.

Suddenly, a chipper female voice behind me asked, "Could I help you find something?"

I turned around and saw that it was the same older lady who had spoken to me a few moments before. This time, I also saw her name tag: Frau Wunderlein.

My first response was to feel like a caught animal. I wanted nothing more than to slink away from those $79 shirts and Frau Wunderlein.

Ultimately, though, I decided just to be honest and said, "I like these shirts but they cost a tad more than I want to pay."

She smiled and answered in a self-assured voice, "Forget about the price tags! Everything here is marked way down. I'm sure we can find something you like."

I grimaced, still plagued with the desire to slither out of the store as inconspicuously as possible.

So I asked, "Well, how much is this shirt?" I showed her the one that I already had my eye on.

She looked at the current price tag and replied, "Now this one is a good deal. It's only $25 today."

My eyes bulged in surprise and elation. I immediately said, "I'll take it!"

Being the wise saleswoman she was, the lady then said, "Here, first let me show you a few more you might like." Without waiting for a reply, she whipped through various stacks of shirts and came back with ten or so possible candidates in my size.

She proceeded to point out the beneficial characteristics of each shirt. I quickly realized that the lady had sized me up accurately: She understood exactly what I was looking for. Each of the shirts was exactly what I would have picked out myself. And the best part was than none of them cost more than $25. In fact, half of them were $20 or less.

She prompted, "See anything you like here?"

All of a sudden, I felt a giant burden being lifted from my shoulders.

Without hesitating, I said, "Give me all of them!" I figured ten shirts in a style and at a price I liked was not a deal I could walk away from.

For a moment, the lady stood there speechless. Then she found her footing and began to praise me on what a good decision I had just made and how I would certainly be very happy with all those shirts.

So she rang the shirts up. The grand total was $195 ... for ten shirts! I felt very proud of myself, and I think the lady must have been feeling very proud of herself as well.

I headed home, happy about the price and even happier that I wouldn't have to think about shirts and things for another 12 months to come.