Word Play

fun with word tweaking:

The Million Dollar Baby -> The Billion Dollar Maybe

The King's Speech -> The King's Peach

Bewitched -> We Bitched

Two and a Half Men -> Moo in a Calf Pen

The Talking Heads -> The Walking Keds

Mary Had Little Lamb -> Larry Had a Little Ma'am

Castles in the Air -> Tassels in My Hair

Green Eggs and Ham -> Queen Legs and Spam

Three Men and a Baby -> He Wrens and a Gay Bee

Watched Water

This one is about the kitchen faucet. I drink a lot of water, so I always keep a large bottle at hand, about 2 quarts. That frees me from having to run for a refill every half hour or so.

But filling the bottle can be quite trying owing to my impatience. Actually, filling the bottle only takes about 20 to 25 seconds. Yet that amount of time can be an eternity if you merely wait for the bottle to get full. To rein in my own impatience, I have come up with a little trick that makes the time fly by.

It’s quite simple: When I begin filling the bottle, I start to count from 20 down to 0. However, there’s one catch. Rather than counting down as fast as I can, I count slowly, perhaps only one number every three seconds.

Before I know it, the bottle is full. I rarely get past the number 12, and I find myself tempted to speed up my counting as fast as I can. But that is a no-no. As my mother always told me, watched water boils slowest.

China

I just saw a report where China has enacted a one-dog-per-family law. The local authorities have already started taking away any extra dogs from families with more than one. What a horrible thing to do to such a wonderful creature, and what a horrible choice to force a family to make. I could accept such a law if it allowed families that already have more than one dog to keep their dogs, and applying the law to families who are considering getting a dog for the first time or a new dog if their last one has passed away. Please join me in praying that as many of these taken-away dogs find a new and good home as soon as possible. The only other alternative the authorities have is to put down these poor dogs. That is a sad, sad thought.

Don’t Call Me Hannibal

Of all the things to obsess about, the one thing surfing my gray matter lately is liver, and, specifically, calf liver. This happens about every two years. The craving shows up out of nowhere like an unwanted guest. I say unwanted because I hate to cook it. That’s such a messy job and the outcome never meets my expectations.

But a few months ago, I discovered that a Greek restaurant in my neighborhood serves calf liver. So when the craving popped up its head this time, I just went to the restaurant. The liver is wonderful, and cooked with onions (like it should be). Since then, I have been back two more times. Slowly, my craving is ebbing. I think one more time will kill it off for awhile. In the meantime, I will watch “Silence of the Lambs” at least once a week!

dog-eyed

couple of quick drawings